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Musical Version Of Platoon Draws Poor Ticket Sales By Angelo Bowers Staff Writer MINNEAPOLIS- A musical version of “Platoon”, based on the classic 1980’s Vietnam film by Oliver Stone, has proved to be just as disappointing as the actual Vietnam War. Directed and Written by J.T. Lansing, “Platoon: The Musical” features original songs written by Lansing, who claims to have written the very first Vietnam Opera performed by an all Polish American cast. “Hey, it’s not my fault there’s only two known Vietnamese people in Minnesota,” said Lansing, who is also working on “Apocalypse Now: The Musical” and a Cleveland production of “The Dear Hunter on Ice”. “You have to understand that J.T. isn’t obsessed with the Vietnam War, he’s just obsessed with Vietnam War movies. The guy is crazy. He claims to suffer from flashbacks, where he thinks he’s in Vietnam but, he’s really just having a dream about a Vietnam movie he watched the night before. He also thinks his legs were blown off by Tom Berenger,” said Steven Berdion, who also plays bass in Lansing’s band The Vietcongs. Melanie, who has been Lansing’s girlfriend for over five years, is also concerned about his sanity. “I worry about J.T. To tell you the truth, I think he’s fucking crazy. He refuses to shave his beard and he still thinks I’m a Vietnamese whore. When we make love he gets scared because he thinks there’s VC (Vietcong) hiding underneath the bed sheets.” The musical has received cruel reviews from Lansing’s local Minneapolis community. One review even said the musical was “worse then the actual atrocities committed during the war itself.” Despite all the negativity, poor reviews, and night terrors, J.T. remains optimistic, “Hey man, this war is gonna end someday, you dig? As soon as Charlie gets his shit together and we find all of those VC man… ya, that’s it man… it’s just all about the fucking government man! (Takes a drag from what looks like a cigarette) There coming down on us with that asshole Nixon cat still in office. You know man?” When Lansing is told by his girlfriend that the war is over and that Nixon is no longer in office, he begins to cry and scream in anguish. “No man! No man! Your just one of them man! War pigs man! Fucking war pigs! Did I give up when Tom Berenger blew off my legs? No man! Were gonna win this one man! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!Why????????” Surprisingly, the city of Minneapolis has not pulled the musical yet. Lansing will continue his Vietnam Opera throughout April. Tickets can be purchased at JTLansingproductions.com.
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