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Three MORE Sex Gadgets From The Future The Auto-Jacker- Now, for the first time on Earth, the Auto-Jacker is available to all people who want a good time in the bedroom, with or without a partner. Hey guys, do you remember those “fleshlights”? Well, this makes those look like lubed-up socks. The Auto-Jacker will bring you to climax quicker than anything you’ve ever experiences, even real sex.
*WARNING* The Auto-Jacker was originally only available to farmers on the planet JIGNIX9, where they milked HUU’jKu (a mix between a Lovecraftian demon and a cow. Ugly suckers.) The HUU’jKu are giant-nippled creatures that are incredibly hard to milk. Not all Auto-Jackers have been properly calibrated for human use, and may rip genitals directly from the body.
The BOX- Only one in the world! It can be yours for a few million dollars. It is a sleek, silver box, with a single hole in it. Placing that hole over your genitals (if you’re a women) or placeing your genitals in the hole (if you’re a man) will bring an kind of pleasure that you have never felt before. You won’t be able to get enough!
*WARNING* The origin of the box is unknown. It was found in a deep impact hole in a field somewhere, glowing red-hot. Scientists think it might be from the moon. Or possibly an orbiting alien space station. Also, when we say, “you wont be able to get enough,” it's because whatever does the sex-magic in the box also injects you with an incredibly addictive drug that we on Earth have never seen. Some of those injected have also turned into Zombies and tried to kill these around them. Use with caution.
Google Sex Ads- When these come off the market, you won’t even need someone to tell you “CLICK ON MY GOOGLE ADSENSE ADS” (which is against google’s rules, by the way) because with Google Sex Ads, you will want to all on your own. With certain, more expensive ads, Google sends a psionic pulse directly into your brain through your speakers and will cause instant sexual gratification. And the best part? Clicking on AdSense ads creates revenue for the site hosting those ads, meaning everyone benefits!
*WARNING* One in every Ten Thousand psionic pulses will liquefy your brain. Google has yet to figure out why, or make any attempt to even fix the problem. This site is against brain-melting. If you click on one of our ads, we promise that it will not kill you. All that will happen is that you will be greatly helping our site. But, as I’ve reiterated throughout this site, we are not asking you to click, simply informing you that if you did, it would make us money that would help the site get better. That is a matter of public record however, and in no way a solicitation or a request to click on our ads. So, to sum up, OUR Google ads will not melt your brain or cause any physical harm, so feel free to click away if you feel like it.
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This Too Is A
Google AdSense Ad
