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Twins, Cloning, and Bureaucracy By Lev Shtrikman Mr. Gardner: Uh hey boss, uh I’ve got to bring up one small problem in the current legislation. Mr. Slagster: What is it? Mr. Gardner: Well you see, we went a little crazy with the anti-cloning laws and whatnot. It was fun and kooky and people sure did seem to enjoy it. Mr. Slagster: Yeah, so what’s the point? Mr. Gardner: Twins are now technically illegal. Mr. Slagster: What!? Mr. Gardner: So are triplets, quad, the six ones, the seventh ones. I mean I’m not very familiar with the whole Latin naming scheme they’ve got going. I think I can only go up to the four or ma- Mr. Slagster: What the hell are you talking about? Mr. Gardner: While banning cloning, we made it illegal for more than one person to have the same DNA. It’s sort of funny if you think about it. Mr. Slagster: That’s horrible. Mr. Gardner: No, no, no. Don’t worry, fraternal twins are A-OK. So your children are perfectly alright. Mr. Slagster: Well, uh, can’t we just not enforce it? Mr. Gardner: We don’t want to seem lax on laws. Remember we tried that with drug enforcement and that turned into the whole 60s. Mr. Slagster: Yeah, yeah, I remember. Say, any chance of repealing it. Mr. Gardner: The people voted on it. Poor ignorant bastards, sell their own soul to the devil if it was a multiple choice grid consisting of a 2 small circles and two short paragraphs describ… Mr. Slagster: SO WHAT?? Mr. Gardner: The elected officials don’t like going against public opinion so close to election time. Wouldn’t be prudent as our former president would say. Mr. Slagster: What are we going to do? Mr. Gardner: I was thinking some sort of death camp. You know we march the twins into these chambers…okay I can tell by that look, you don’t get I’m joking. Fine, I propose that we simply take away their citizenship until after elections are over and then try to work out a committee to see that their civil rights are eventually reinstated. Mr. Slagster: Okay, yeah, funny. Mr. Gardner: Dang, I was being serious. |
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