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The Rules and Weird Regulations of Google AdSense ( A.K.A. I am NOT asking you to CLICK ON THESE ADS) By Zach Seemayer Do you know what Google AdSense is? Of course you do. Everyone does. If you have EVER been to a website you know what it is. Hell, I’ve got it here on this site.
To many people, it is the lifeblood of their site. However, this is not yet the case for me. Google Ad Sense is my own form of revenue currently, and I have to tell you it’s not going as well as I would hope.
The way it works is: I get paid some small amount every time someone clicks on a link. Some people, according to their bullshit advertisements, make $500 a day on people clicking these links. I don’t think that’s possible. I really don’t.
I am NOT allowed to ask you to CLICK MY LINKS. I repeat. NOT ALLOWED TO ASK YOU TO CLICK MY LINKS.
All I am allowed to do is discuss Ad Sense in a clinical manner that, in no way, advocates clicking on these links.
There are a dozen main things I am not allowed to do or I will be in violation of Google AdSense’s Terms Of Service:
1. I cannot click on my own links: NOT EVEN BY ACCIDENT! NOT EVEN ONCE! HOLY HELL FIRE WILL RAIN ON MY HEAD AND THE DEMON HIRED BY GOOGLE TO PUNISH WRONG DOERS WILL POP UP FROM A RIP IN TIME AND CONSUME MY VERY SOUL!
Since I cannot click on the links, I require the people who view my site to click them. Remember, however, I am NOT asking you to. I am simply stating the fact that if my readers were to click on my links, it would help this site out significantly. This is just a well-known fact of all sites with Ad Sense. Maybe even more so with small sites like mine. But I’m NOT asking you to click on them. If you click on them, it is of your own will with no influence or collusion from me.
2. I cannot change the AdSense code they give you: Well, I don’t really know what I would change it too. Maybe a picture of a monkey with a hat made of fish? I mean, where did that monkey get a fish hat? It’s been hard enough for me to find one. Stupid Monkey. Maybe they are afraid the monkey would be programmed to ask you to click on the links. Which, as I would like to repeat, NO MONKEYS ON MY SITE ARE ASKING YOU TO CLICK ON THE GOOGLE LINKS!
3. Do not place more then the allowed amount of ads on a web page: You are allowed 3 ad units, 3 ad links, and 2 Adsense search boxes on each page. Any more than this, and it is breaking the rules. I guess people on many sites want to convince people to click on their ads. IF YOU PLACE MORE THAN THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF ADS, GOOGLE IS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE.
4. Don’t run competitive ads on a web page.
5. Don’t tell people how much you make per click or page impression. I am only allowed to tell you the total amount I’ve made. Well, as of today, I have made a grand total of $3.15. That is impressive no? NO! But remember, I’m not asking you to click on my links. All I’m stating is the fact that if this site is going to thrive, Ad Sense revenue needs to be improved. But IF YOU CLICK ON THE LINK IT IS OF YOUR OWN VOLITION! I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO JUST TO SAVE THE SITE FROM DEATH!
6. I am only able to label sites as “advertisements” or “sponsored links.” I am NOT allowed to write, “please click on my google ads” above the ads. I am NOT allowed to say “clicking on these links will keep this site in existence” even if that was the case. Only “advertisements” and “sponsored links.”
7. Make sure ad sense pages don’t open up in a new page.
8. Don’t start new accounts for each page. One account is good for all pages on a site.
9. I can only place them on pages with content. I don’t have a lot of blank pages on my site though, so this one is kinda confusing. Blank pages don’t get a lot of traffic.
10. I cannot mask Ad Elements. I cannot make the ads look like part of my site. People have to know the ads are ads. That way, they won’t click on the links by mistake. Hopefully, for the good of the site, people will click on them out of love and interest. But I am NOT asking you to click on the links.
11. I can’t post the ad sense ads on pages with nudity, MP3s, Video or a number of other things. Even though, if I was allowed to put it on a page with naked ladies more people would click on the ads, which, I must reiterate, would generate some cash flow. But remember, I’m NOT asking you to click on the ads.
12. I should use excessive Keyword stuffing. I cannot have tons of keywords that would trick the ad sense into displaying more tantalizing stuff. People would click on ads if they were more interesting, but I guarantee MOST PEOPLE HOPE THEIR AUDIENCE WILL CLICK ON EVEN BORING AD LINKS TO HELP OUT THEIR SITE, BUT WOULD NEVER ASK ANYONE TO DO SO.
If you haven’t been able to pick up on it yet, I am not allowed to ask anyone, even in general conversation, to click on my links. Somehow, Google has agents and satellites across the globe monitoring everything I write and say in relation to asking people to click the links. So again, even though clicking the links would save this site, DO NOT IMTERPRETE THIS POST AS A REQUEST TO CLICK ON THE LINKS. EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD COST YOU NOTHING, AND WOULD’NT EVEN TAKE MORE THEN A FEW SECONDS, I AM NOT ASKING YOU TOO. EVERYTHING WITHIN THIS ARTICLE IS FOR YOUR EDUCATION AND IS A MATTER OF FACT NOT REQUEST…
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This Too Is A
Google AdSense Ad
