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And Now, A Word From Your Shadow Government By Lev Shtrikman Hello! My name is Joe Black, and I am a representative of the Shadow Government, by that I mean I’m not. OooOooO… creepy shadow government *spooky hand motion*. Alright back to the serious discussion, we have listened and are very concerned with the message broadcasted by the thousands of you who participated in antiwar marches, rallies, petitions, protes– nah I’m kidding. We couldn’t care less. I think that’s enough levity and humor. What is really bothering America is the dread evil known as dividend taxation. Dividend taxation is like having the IRS come into your house, steal your wallet and rape your cat. It’s exactly the same thing and those who don’t agree are— say it with me— terrorists! You may ask what you can do, as an individual, to fight this symbol of Satan. Well you can’t do much. Come on, you’re one person and insignificant. I bet you don't even own a yacht and everyone knows that votes from the non-yacht-owning populace don't matter.
So shut up and do what our secret hypnotism rays tell you or else the Shadow Government may get you. Or not. I’m not at liberty to say.
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