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Old Man Stories (Vol 1.) By _Chris_ His Myspace Boy: Grandpa, you're really, really old aren't you? Old Man: What do you care you little rug rat?! Boy: Huh? Old Man: You know, I wasn't always so old. Boy: Really? I thought... Old Man: Shut up! And listen to your old grandpa tell you a story. How old are you son? Boy: I'm 7 years... Old Man: That’s a DAMN LIE! When I was 18 I went to the army. That was what you did in my day. When I got back from the front line, there was all kinds of hippies going on back and forth and trying to steal all of our ladies with their free love for everyone and it just made me SICK!! I only had sex with TWO women in my LIFE. One was my wife Eleanor and the other was your grandmother...she was a beautiful woman. Boy: But grandma's name's not... Old Man: SHE WAS A GYPSY I TELL YA!!! There is no way I regular woman could have brought a man as strong as me down to that level. Of course there was moonshine involved. You kids call it RUM today. Ya goddamn DRUNKS! You should be ashamed of yourself you know that?! Boy: Why? What did I... Old Man: She had a beautiful body. Very slim and tender. Like a turkey get ready to be bitten. No one man could satisfy her. That WHORE. But when I came around she had no problem getting down into the under regions of my very SOUL!!!!........What?!?! Who said that?!?!?! BOY! Go to your room! |
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