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Top Ten Reasons For A Guy To Keep The Lights Off When Having Sex

By Zach Seemayer and Lev Shtrikman

1. You’re ugly

2. She’s ugly

3. The dog always watches and it creeps you out

4. The light bulb is broken and you’re both Polish

5. Your kink is to use a flash light and pretend to explore “the cave.”

6. Candles + Pyromania = love

7. With the strobe lights on, it’s like doing that hot epileptic chick from high school

8. Its more difficult for her to identify you to the police.

9. So you can trade off with your brother half-way through and she won’t know. (You owe him a favor.)

10. She won’t notice you’re crying.





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