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Snapshot Of An Argument By Zach Seemayer She kicked open my door as I was layin there in my boxers with pictures of pineapples all over em, sleeping. She threw a stack of my fuckin pornos on my laps and the sudden impact woke me. The corner of one hit my nut. “OWW!” I yelled. “The fucks your problem?!” “What the fuck is this shit?” She was yellin like a goddamn banshee. That fuckin’ voice grated on my nerves. I didn’t know what the hell she was asking me. I looked at the porn groggily. Then I looked back at her. I was confused. “Its porn.” I stated. “What the fuck do you have porn for?” She yelled. “Aren’t I enough for you?” I wasn’t really comprehending what she was asking me. I looked at the magazines again, and then back at her. “What are you talking about?” I just didn’t get the problem. “Do you want me to look like them?” She yelled. “Am I not enough for you? You need this... this shit!” “Are… are you mad that I have porn?” Seriously, I didn’t grasp the problem. “YES!” She yelled, even louder and shriller. “YES! I’m mad you have porn! Its like you cheating on me!” “But.” I didn’t see the problem. “You…you’re my mistress. I’m cheating on my wife WITH you…” My inability to understand her logic for being angry was really starting to piss her off. Her jaw dropped as if she had never heard such repulsive opinions. “Are you saying that just because I’m not your wife I can’t feel offended by your filthy porn collection?” I thought about this for a minute. “Yeah.” A answered simply. “You pretty much just nailed it on the head.” Her anger and exasperation grew. She began to call me the alphabet of insults from Asshole to Zebra fucker. He threw an ashtray and a bible, which kinda just made me laugh. “Whoa, whoa bitch! Calm down!” I yelled, jumping outta bed and ducking. “What’s the fuckin problem?” “I’ll tell you the fuckin problem you fuck! The problem is you don’t respect me and your don’t respect women!” “What?” I asked. “How did you come up with that idea?” “Porn is sick and filthy!” “What you did with me last night is twice as filthy as anything in those magazines! What we did is illegal in some states!” “Yeah, but porn objectifies women by taking their picture and taking all the romance out of sex!” “YOU HAD ME VIDEO TAPE US!” I yelled back. “THAT’S NOT THE POINT YOU ASSHOLE!” That’s when she threw the phone. “I’m fucking leaving.” I yelled. I grabbed my pants and a coat and ran out the door narrowly avoiding a coffee mug. Crazy bitch. |
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