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Jesus Announces He Wants Nothing To Do With Michael Vick By Zach Seemayer Staff Writer In a rare phone call to talk show host Larry King today, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the son of God, said he wants to keep his hands clean of the entire affair dealing with Michael Vick. Earlier today, in an attempt to make up for his brutal murder and torture of dogs, Vick claims that he has found Jesus and has given his life over to God. "Yeah, I know he says he found me, but I would prefer if he stopped it," said Jesus. "I mean, there is just something wrong with that man." For the few who haven't heard, Vick was charged with multiple cases of animal abuse, and plead guilty after admiting to hanging, drowning and electrocuting animals who didn't fight well. "There is nothing I can do for a guy like that," said Jesus. "He's just evil. You gotta remember too, I'm the guy who forgave the man who killed ME! Vick though? I think any association with Vick will just tarnish my reputation massivly. I'm the prince of peace, not the prince of forgiving psycho dog murderers." Later on in the phone conversation Larry King began asking innane questions and Jesus got bored, and hung up. However, on Jesus's popular blog, he eleborated his previous statements. "I just think that Michael Vick is so hated now, that I don't want to be seen with him, or even talked about by him. Besides, it's not like he has really found me. His lawyer found me for him. I want to wash my hands of all of it." As of now, it is unclear whether or not Vick has heard about Jesus's desire to have nothing to do with him.
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