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Man Who Lives In Playground Claims Not To Be A Pedophile, He Just Really Likes Sand By Angelo Bowers Staff Writer OKLAHOMA CITY -The Oak Tree Public Park has always been known as the largest and best recreational park in Oklahoma City. The park boasts over four miles of outdoor fun including the Oak Tree Playground, which features local resident Barry Watson. On any given day you can find Watson taking photos with his GPS Polaroid camera and grabbing handfuls of his beloved sand. Watson, who locals call “A creepy bastard,” has been living in the Oak Tree Playground for over 15 years. “I love this playground, I love the plastic slides, the safety bars, the multi-colored jungle gym, the swings, the large clumps of sand, and the strong athletic boys with their young rippling biceps (awkward pause) but, most of all I love the sand,” says Watson while staring at a group of children eating ice cream. Watson’s life story is filled with mountain highs and valley lows plus lots of sand wedged in between. The man known as the Oak Tree Playground’s “Resident psycho fuck” has never left the city limits of Oklahoma City due to a rare disease: Sando-Cliptic-Phile-Phobia (extreme fear of people over the age of 13 and an overly sexualized obsession with sand particles). Before interviewing Watson I was warned that he wouldn’t talk to me unless I dressed and acted like a twelve year-old boy (preferably Asian). “Barry really loves sand...at least that’s what he tells you while he takes Polaroids of your son crying. You see, Barry is afraid of adults. I really don’t know why but, he just is. He’ll stay at the park for days in fact; I don’t think he ever leaves. Geez, he really is a sick fuck. Sometimes I think about telling the police about him but, gosh, he really is great with kids and he loves sand,”says Donald Thompson, who usually gives Watson a couple of dollars each week to look after his son. Because of his illness, and the fact that he lives in a sand pit, Watson has been unemployed his whole life. To help support himself he usually tries to sale bags of sand for a dollar. “Well, there’s no beaches in Oklahoma, so this is the closest I’ll get to the beach and the closest I’ll get to young Asian boys,” says Watson while taking photos of me dressed like a foreign exchange student named Chi-Ming. While doing further research on Watson’s life I found that there has never been a disease called Sando-Cliptic-Phile-Phobia. I also discovered that there is a growing suspension about the real identity of Watson. After several meetings with the Oklahoma City Police Department I found out that Barry Watson may in fact be Johnny Poncho: A mental patient who escaped New Mexico State Hospital in 1987. There is currently an ongoing investigation on the true identity of Barry Watson a.k.a. Johnny Poncho. If you have any information please contact the Oklahoma City Police Department.
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