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Drinking Stories By Allan Smithee Sadly..each of these pictures reminds me of a story..
Yes...well...not one of my prouder moments. This one time i was in Santa Monica with some friends of mine, and we wernt exactly in the most proper state of mind (thanks to some remy martin and JD) and we saw this constume place that had these plushie animal heads for sale. Well, needless to say, it seemed like a good idea at the time. We put on the heads and ran out into the middle of the street screaming "stampeed" and we were like slapping cars and rolling around and like licking peoples car windows. The cops were called out and all of us except Franklin, dropped the heads and ran to the beach. Franklin ran too, but was so drunk he forgot to take off his plushie cow head...Needless to say he was easily spotted. We all acted like we didn't know him...
Well. This is another franklin story. This one time, he was drinking, and he had a shot of Rum 151, and he sorta passed out and spit the rum onto his pants, and we just sorta left him there on the floor, and soon after, someone was smoking, and they dropped a match onto what they thought was tyhe floor, but really was his pants, and the pants caught on fire and oh, boy. Let me tell you. That woke him right up. Hes now known as the prince of pantslessness... And let me tell you, that is a coveted title.
Well, okay, when this same thing happened to us, well, um...ya see, it wasnt so nicely set into the pool, becuase, unlike in this picture, it didnt so much drive into the pool, as um...well dropped into it. Now, wait wait, I can explain. It all started with Tony drunkenly saying that gravity only existed if we belived in it. That philosophy led to an experiment, which led to the building of a makeshift, crappy ramp. Franklin was the first to jump off the roof. But he didnt fly so much as he hit the cement. Luckily, there were some floaty toys and he only broke his pinky finger and sprained his wrist. He was drunk so he was okay. Anyway, then tony and I realized that since cars couldn't think like people, they COULD'NT beleive in gravity. So if he was right, the car would sort of hover, and not drop into the pool. So we drove the car up the ramp and over the roof and off the edge. Needless to say, we were wrong. Cars do think like people, and also believe in gravity. Just to test our theory. We threw unconciosu Franklin off the roof, assuming that since he was passed out he couldn't believe in anything. He must have been slightly away, cause he dropped like a stone..or a drunk guy, and belly flopped into the pool. Luckily, Tony is a good swimmer.
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