|
Random Thoughts On Random Crap By Zach Seemayer Horse Racing- Little men on giant animals running in a circle while drunk people waste their life savings on the event. Truly, the sport of kings. DADA- The revolutionary surreal artist movement from decades ago plays nothing but a small role in most of America today, but you have to admit that a fish hat would be pretty cool. Happiness- For an intangible non-corporeal abstract thought, it’s a pretty decent one. Gamma Radiation- Sure, it made the Hulk (and She-Hulk), but what has it done for us recently? Post-Its- I have never NOT needed a post-it. Next to duct tape, they are the most useful thing in the whole of the Earth. And medicine. Duct tape, post-its and medicine. Oh, and food and drink I guess… well, whatever. Burger King Quad Stacker- Is this even legal to sell? What’s the difference between this and handing out bottles of sleeping pills at a suicide prevention clinic? Low Budget Zombie Movies- Some of the funniest things ever put to celluloid. All you need is fake blood, and people who can run. Not being allowed to pump your own gas in New Jersey- This is extremely funny for some reason. Makes me think New Jersians can’t pump their own gas. Or maybe they use too much gas burning their corpses before throwing them in the river. Ann Coulter-She makes Bill O’Reilly look like Jon Stewart. Right wing psychopath who made fun of the widows of 9/11 victims and who lies every time she opens her mouth. There is nothing funny about this evil harpy. Something I like about Ann Coulter-…I can’t think of anything. I hate that evil bitch. Evil Harpies- In mythology, the harpies were winged beasts sent to torment the prophet Phineas. They were ugly, cruel and mean. Not unlike Ann Coulter. Jockeys- They are elves who live in a magical kingdom and can suddenly turn vicious. I either read this in a tell-all by a Jockey, or saw it on the Simpsons. I don’t totally remember. Agamemnon- One of the most distinguished and well known heroes in Greek mythology. But really, its just fun to say his name. Try it a few times. Earth’s Yellow Sun- Not only does it provide plants the energy they need to grow and bloom beautifully, it also super-powers Superman. Which is a good thing. |
|
